There is an old bumper sticker that goes, “If you’re not angry, then you’re not paying attention.” Now, this might seem a little surprising coming from the gratitude guy, but I wholeheartedly endorse that idea. The world has plenty of crooks. Fat cats make fortunes on the backs of the vulnerable. Profit-mongers trash the environment without remorse. Autocrats stifle freedoms to consolidate power for themselves and their cronies.
I don’t often talk about those things on this podcast. It is, after all, a podcast about appreciation and I don’t appreciate autocracy and injustice. Like the bumper sticker says, those things make me angry.
After the election of Donald Trump last week, lots of people around me were angry and also sad. And afraid. Regardless of how you feel about the outcomes of this election, I imagine you can empathize with the vulnerability and hopelessness that my neighbors were feeling. If you’re afraid of losing the democracy that you’ve enjoyed your whole life, believe that that democracy really is likely to unravel, and that there is little they can do about it … what do you do other than mourn?
Well, what most of my neighbors did was carry on with the work that they needed to do, and hoped it would provide some respite from their anxiety.
When times are challenging, I find gratitude to be a refuge. So when I saw the despair around me, I decided to take “I Heart This” out to the people of my town. I walked around outside the farmer’s market, along the walking trails, and in people’s kitchens with a microphone, recording any stories of gratitude that people were willing to share.
It was good for me. I think it was good for the people I talked to. Today’s episode is a collage of those stories. Some of them are just what you’d expect. Some are a little off the wall. Some are quirky. Some are heartfelt. I think that it’s beautiful, and hope you do too.
But there is one response that isn’t here. It’s been stuck in my mind as I edited this project. One friend of mine–a smart, thoughtful man who cares deeply about his community and his world–told me he didn’t want to share a story because as he said, “I don’t have it in me to be grateful right now. I can’t let that take me away from my urgency and my anger.” And I thought of that bumper sticker. If you’re not angry, you are not paying attention.
It definitely gave me pause. Could it be that focusing on gratitude wasn’t the right thing to do? Instead of providing hope, was I actually delivering a kind of anesthesia? I mean, toxic positivity is a thing. It really is unhealthy for people to avoid the discomfort of grief or anger by covering it over with a cheery reminder to “count your blessings.” Is that what I was doing? Anger can be useful. It drives us to take action, to address injustices, and to take a stand.
I don’t know what my country needs most right now. But my gut tells me that more anger isn’t it. Despite my doubts, I do think there is a place for stories of appreciation right now. Gratitude can be a smokescreen, but it doesn’t have to be. When we inspire people to remember the goodness of free speech in the public sphere or the bounty of this green Earth, we are more likely to nourish and protect them–not less.
The stories that you’re about to hear reminded me of things that I don’t want to take for granted, but often do. They woke me up a little bit. Every thing that people celebrated was something that might not have been. We could have lived in a world without these blessings. Many people already do. In fact, if there was a theme in all these stories, it was this: people felt most grateful for something when they had experienced its absence. Just like with anger, if we are not grateful, we are not paying attention.
Our righteous anger, our gratitude, our love, our anxiety. These are not mutually exclusive. There is room in these human hearts for all of them at once. All we have to do is keep them open.
I hope you enjoy these stories of your neighbors, who were willing to take a few minutes to open their hearts for you.
***
It’s a weird thing for a stranger with a microphone to come up and ask you to tell a story. There’s good reason to hesitate. It’s the type of situation where you encounter con artists, evangelists, and people asking for money. How cool is it, then, that so many people were willing to stop amidst their busy days to share something with us. Shout outs to them. Obviously, this episode would not have happened if they didn’t.
Just a reminder that I usually take the months of December and January off from I Heart This. So our next episode will come out on February 14th, 2025. And I’ve been toying with a lot about changes and projects. One, I’d love for I Heart This to branch out into video. Wouldn’t that be fun? Two, I’d love to invite guest writers and hosts to contribute their own essays and voices to “I Heart This.” I have an idea for a poetry performance piece that I’m really psyched about and would need a few good actors to join me on. And I’m thinking about another podcast/video project called “How do we know that?” which would explore the histories behind ideas that we accept as true because our science teachers told us they were so, but are actually quite weird like, “How do we know the Earth has a molten core if no one’s ever been there?” and “Whose ideas was it that birds are actually dinosaurs?” and “How did people discover ultraviolet light if it’s totally invisible?” If you’re interested in any of those things, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Reach out to me at ben@iheartthispodcast.com.